Erin Got Her Groove Back

Well, I've been in quite the funk for the past 5 weeks or so.  I bottomed out between last week and the beginning of this week and have finally begun climbing out of it the last couple of days.  It's about time.  I was starting to wonder if I would ever come out on the other side.  I was beginning to understand how some moms become alcoholics.  I was contemplating drinking my problems away though I tried that when I was younger and it never helped.  I've also seen plenty of adults go down a horrible path lined with empty bottles and knew that wouldn't help me.  Plenty of reading and praying later and I've become numb when stretching Lilly's tushy and I'm not getting as short with the other two who just act their ages.

Today I did the dishes for the second time this week.  Before this week, I hadn't done them in 3 weeks!  Luckily for my entire household, my hubby was picking up the dish slack for me and not giving me a hard time about it.  I've even had the kids picking up after themselves the last two days and helped them so Nick hasn't had to do it one evening after work.  I'm beginning to do what I should be doing again and I know in the next few days I'll be ready to start doing extra things again too.  I haven't even exercised since the beginning of last week.  It's not been good...pretty sure my sister-in-law spent part of a day finding a place with a nice comfy padded room for me after she listened to a couple of my rants the beginning of this week.  I'm so lucky to have friends and family who understand my insanity and give me the strength and courage to plow through the dark points.

The spring weather is so wonderful.  I'm loving these days in the 70's and 80's.  They are absolutely perfect for taking the kids outside and playing and taking pictures.  It's also therapeutic for my mood.  I love the sunshine and everything turning green again, flowers blooming, people being friendlier.  This is the time of year God gives us for making it through another long winter...He makes everything new again and it's such a beautiful and amazing process.

It was so much fun taking the kids to go throw rocks in the lake the other day.  They had a blast, got some sun, and I got a few good pictures.  That evening, Lilly took a long nap, the two big kids were playing NICELY in the back yard, the hubby was grilling burgers and I got to RELAX in the hammock.  I forgot what that feels like.  It was nice and I need to do it more often.  Maybe that was the game-changer for me.  I had gotten so wound up from not relaxing ever that I was in a ridiculously depressed state.  I'll have to be sure to take some time for me now and again.  I don't even have a commute to do that anymore so I have to make a conscious decision to do it and that's not the easiest thing for me.  Here's to a little bit of selfishness!!!