Thankful 30

Day 30: I am thankful I have so much to be thankful for...so many blessings. 30 days and I really didn't have to give it much thought. I definitely need to start using my gratitude journal again. What a wonderful and simple way to infuse your life with joy! Even on horrible days there are things to be thankful for. I feel I am leaving this month a happier, more joyful person. Maybe I'm crazy but I think doing this for a month (almost...I started late) has helped me be more positive which has been a chain reaction. I've been more patient with the kids, I've been cooking more, I've started reorganizing the house having finished the kids' rooms and kitchen, and Nick and I are continuing to improve. It really is a wonderful life!

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Day 29: I am thankful for the little guy I watch, Brodee, and his family. If it weren't for having that bit of extra income here and there over the past 18 months, things would have been much more difficult financially. I've also found another best friend in his mommy. It's been nice having another friend my age; especially one who lives 5 minutes away. We haveenjoyed having their family over to our house for dinner and going over to theirs as well. It has also been good for Nick getting to know Brodee's daddy. Daegan and Maddy absolutely love Brodee and now that Lilly is bigger, she does too. Their family has become part of ours.

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Day 28: I am thankful for Maddy's preschool. She loves it so much and from what I can tell, they do an amazing job. She is always counting down the days until her next day of school and comes home nearly every day with a craft they have done. She's so creative and I love that they are learning through creativity rather than trying to squelch it already and just have them do workbook stuff. I know we made the best decision financially sending her to the 3 day a week preschool at the church rather than full time at the school, but I truly feel this program also fits Maddy better. I think she would have been bored going to preschool full time. There are plenty of years of full time school ahead of her. In less than 9 months I'll be sending her off to kindergarten.

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Day 27: I am thankful for the ability to be warm when it's cold outside. I am thankful for coats and blankets, fire and shelter. I greatly dislike being cold and am thankful we have made enough advances in our society that we don't have to struggle for warmth.

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Day 26: I am thankful for the ability to cook as well as bake. I know some people who can ONLY cook, some who can ONLY bake and some who cannot do either. It's so nice to be able to do both. I can see or hear about a recipe and be able to make it if I want to. I've also been doing so much cooking lately that I'm starting to come up with recipe ideas of my own...I never thought that would happen! I LOVE baking - a little too much I think. It's therapeutic for me. I've always loved baking cookies and cakes and this year I've expanded my bread repertoire. Now I'm starting to expand into the crockery cooking category. Half of the recipes on the menu for next week are crock pot ones. Apparently I'm ready to break ours in - I think we've used it once. Hopefully one day I will get a stand mixer. Then I can really bake up a storm!

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Day 25: I am thankful for Christmas spirit but I wish it were more prevalent all year long. It's so nice when people are cheerful and smiling, wishing complete strangers well. It seems like most everyone is more joyful around Christmas-as they should be. I wish we were all more aware of our salvation than just around Christmas and Easter. All the lights and decorations at Christmas are fabulous too. I don't know how you wouldn't be able to look at a magnificent light display and feel full of joy and wonder. I still feel like a little kid driving around looking at the lights. And now I have children of my own who also adore the lights. Nick put ours up on the house today and I can't wait for our big kids to see them. They're having a sleepover with GiGi and G-Dad. Lilly kept pointing at them making sweet little noises. How I love Christmas...the financial part is stressful now but the celebration of Jesus' birth, family getting together, wonderful food and beautiful decorations are incredible. Tidings of comfort and joy.

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Day 24: I am thankful for my entire dysfunctional family! ;) My immediate household of course: the hubby and my 3 babies, my mom and step-dad, my dad and step-mom, my grandparents (SO happy I still have them), my uncles and aunts, my cousins, my in-laws, nieces and nephews and all of my many adopted siblings. I have such a fabulous network of family and friends. My heart does ache today for my baby sis who had to spend it without her hubby and baby while she awaits her transfer. Thank God they get to be together for Christmas.

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Day 23: I am thankful for spending time with friends and family. Today I got to have a long overdue reunion with one of my besties that went through a divorce and became a recluse. It was amazing catching up and just enjoying each other's company. Plus, the kids all had a great time playing. Then I got to spend the evening with my little brother whom I don't see enough of. It's always so wonderful when he comes to town. I've had a very blessed day full of incredible people.

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Day 22: I am thankful that God always provides. There are months I'm not sure how we will make it financially yet we do. I have been at the end of my emotional rope numerous times and He gives me the strength to make it through. It is only through Him that we made it through all of Lilly's surgeries with our sanity intact, that Nick and I are still together, and that we have survived on one income for 19 months tomorrow. I believe this journey was given to us so we might know Him better. And we do...God is so good and ever faithful!

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Day 21: I am thankful for our vehicles. Yes, I can find things to complain about with both of them, but I am thankful we have two running vehicles. It's nice to have the freedom to go and do as we please and not have to depend on other people for rides. It's also great to have vehicles period. It makes everything so much easier. Getting supplies(diapers and groceries), moving, visiting friends and relatives...the list goes on and on. It is truly amazing all the ways technology has made our lives easier.

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Day 20: I am thankful for the hubby's job. It is so nice that he has a full-time year-round job with benefits. It's wonderful knowing he has a steady job.

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Day 19: I am thankful for answered prayers. I am so glad God answered my prayers and the hubby quit drinking 5 weeks ago. We are very much on the mend and I couldn't be happier about it. I'm glad we got to see a dear friend and his kiddos but it's sad they are no longer a single family, but two separate ones. For the most part the kids are being put first. I'm so glad it's not us.

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Day 18: I am thankful I got to spend almost every day for the last four weeks with my sweet baby nephew, Logan. What a gift to get that much fabulous auntie time. There were certainly challenging moments and days, but I wouldn't trade it for anything and wish it were longer.
I am also thankful for the rebuilding of my relationship with my dad. It has been tumultuous over the last 13 years, but we're going from the present and it's been wonderful. I'm so happy we are moving forward and my children get to have so many loving grandparents in their lives. What a blessing.

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Day 17: I am thankful for technology. Though I curse it at times, it's amazing how it brings people together. I'm amazed at the people I'm reconnecting with from my childhood through Facebook. It's amazing. It's also great getting to keep up with people through that medium at my leisure rather than trying to have a phone conversation with screaming children in the background.
And cell phones...I remember how we survived before them, but I couldn't go back. It's easiest for me to have a phone conversation when we are in the car because all the little demons are strapped in with nothing to break. Add the ability to text message and oh boy! It's nice sending quick notes back and forth across the country to my sister.
The Internet...you can find anything on there! I'm still amazed by it ever day. There's SO much information! It truly is ridiculous. Email is fabulous though. And Skype. And Pinterest. Ah, Pinterest. That's my latest addiction. I could spend days on there. It's probably a good thing my app keeps freaking out on me and either kicking me off or telling me I'm out of pins. How can I be out of pins? They're virtual! Technology....yes, I'm still thankful. :)

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Day 16: I am thankful for laughter. It cures everything. Almost. There is not a better sound in this world than the laughter of children. It makes my heart so happy when I hear the kids giggling...especially at each other. They are hilarious when they giggle back and forth at each other. Even on my worst day, something funny enough to make me laugh can change the direction of my mood. And it feels incredible when I laugh until I cry. And the ability to laugh at myself has made me much more easy-going and I'm certain I'm more fun to be around now. Laughter may not be the best medicine at all times for everything, but it's certainly the best overall all-natural medicine.

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Day 15: I am thankful for dear friends. I have had so many people get in touch with me to check on Maddy today. I am glad technology can bring us together even though we live apart. I am also thankful for cold medicine. Without it, I'm not sure how well I would have fared over the last week. I love fall, but the weather change wreaks havoc on my sinuses. I am glad cold medicine helps me breathe and still be able to taste what I'm eating. It's so I unsatisfying to eat something you can't taste.

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Day 14: I am thankful for modern medicine. Without it, who knows what the outcome would have been for Lilly and it gave me peace of mind tonight. Maddy broke out in hives. Thankfully, urgent care stayed open until 8 so we were able to get in. I would not have slept well worrying all night if her airway was okay. I don't know why Maddy has hives, but I'm sure glad we can all sleep more easily tonight.

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Day 13: I am thankful I am able to stay home with my family. We definitely don't have the financial freedom we once did, but getting to be with my kids all the time and not have to leave them screaming for me at a sitter's house is priceless. I feel like I missed so much with the older two because I was working all the time. There are days I feel like I might rip my hair out but if that ever happens, I'd rather rip it out over my kids than over a job.

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Day 12: I am thankful for my grandparents. I am so fortunate to still have them and they are able to be a big part of my kids' lives. They are two of the neatest people with some incredible stories. My grandma is an incredible cook. I've never eaten anything she has made that I haven't liked. My grandpa is the most hardworking man I know and he would never complain about it. I hope they stick around for a long time but I cherish every moment I get with them.

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Day 11: I am thankful for men and women who are willing to put their lives on the line for complete strangers. That, to me, is the ultimate act of selflessness. Thank God for people who are willing to do this...to protect our country, to fight for our country, to fight against injustice around the world and to proudly represent our great nation. I am so proud of my cousin Austin serving in the Air Force.

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Day 10: I am thankful for friends. We have so many wonderful friends and I am so thankful that they would all be there in a heartbeat if we needed them. They are all the type that we can go days, weeks and even months without talking and then pick back up like no time has passed at all. Most of them are just as busy with life as we are and all of them are understanding. I am blessed beyond measure to be surrounded by people who love life.

Thankfulness

I've wanted to "join the club" and write a note of gratitude each day this month but I've been finding reasons not to. How silly. I used to keep a gratitude journal and it's high time I started again. I will begin reforming that habit by joining the thanks train.

Day 1: I am thankful for my partner in crime, my best friend, my husband...Nicholas. We have been through so much together - especially this last year - and I can't imagine a more perfect person to be sharing this journey with.

Day 2: I am thankful for a personal, meaningful relationship with God. He is so good and I am ecstatic to have renewed my faith in the last year. So much happened that I would not have made it through without Him holding my family and I and being able to rely on His strength instead of my own.

Day 3: I am thankful for my mom. Of course because she gave me life, but also because I can't imagine a better best friend. She understands me like nobody else, we think the same way and can finish each others' sentences. She is my hero. I wish everyone had such an inspiring person to not only look up to or consider a friend, but to call a parent.

Day 4: I am thankful for Madyson Alyx Cruz. My firstborn, my "squirt". She amazes me more every day. I am so glad God picked me to be her mommy. She has so much love to give and she radiates joy. She learns things lightning fast and at 4 years old understands what being a good Samaritan is and wants to do things "because it's the right thing to do". She is a gentle, kind and (mostly) patient big sister. I adore watching her "mommy" her younger siblings and know she will see her younger siblings as I do mine - her first attempt at parenting. I am so proud of her and love watching her grow into an incredible little girl.

Day 5: I am thankful for Daegan Nicholas Cruz. My only boy, middle baby, "Bam Bam". He is such a loving little man! I wish every mom got hugs as sweet as his. He is also absolutely hilarious. He does and says some of the most random stuff and makes some incredibly goofy faces. I love his "oh man" every time he fails to hit the foam baseball with his little bat (which is most of the time - he's 2). I love how he tip toes when I ask him to be quiet; I love that he is a pirate most days; I love that he loves Michael Jackson; I love that he absolutely adores his baby sister. There can't be many things in this world more precious than a 2-year-old being protective of his baby sis. I am proud to be his mommy and am thrilled to watch him continue to grow into a little man.

Day 6: I am thankful for Lillian Faith Cruz. My baby girl, my "Lillybug". When God decided to give us our surprise blessing, we had no idea what we were in for. She gave us simultaneously the best and worst year of our lives. Our family was completed with a funny, loving, happy baby girl. We also had a year containing 3 surgeries, 10 months of colostomy bag and so many unanswered questions. Ultimately we ended up with a completely healthy baby and closer relationships with God all around. She has been our little angel. She is so strong and resilient. And I'm not sure there has ever been a happier baby. She adores her older siblings and it's precious watching her as she tries to emulate them now. She has filled all of our lives with so many blessings.

Day 7: I am thankful for my brother, Rob. Even though he is younger, I learned a lot from him growing up. I loved watching him play sports and was devastated when he gave them all up as we got older. He was always so protective of my mom, sister and I and still is. His smile can light up a room and his laugh is infectious. I love watching him with my kids and our nephew. He's going to make the best daddy someday. He is so full of love and life and has a fantastic sense of humor. I'm glad we get to journey through life as family.

Day 8: I am thankful for my baby sis, Lauren. Though we were more worst of enemies growing up, now we are best of friends. She is an amazing young woman who has rolled with the punches of life extremely well and I admire her adaptability daily. She is so sunny and caring. I loved watching her with animals growing up and now I love watching her with my nephew. She's such a great little mommy and though I like to give her a hard time for being a people-pleaser, it's also one of the things I love most about her. She has always done an excellent job of keeping the peace. She's a selfless wife and I admire the woman she has become. I am so proud.

Day 9: I am thankful to be an aunt to 6 of the most amazing children. My baby sis give me Logan who is crazy, funny, loving, giggly and ornery. My sis-in-law Kami gave me Kadan who is hilarious, sweet, sensitive, kind, giving and talented as well as Brooklyn who is sweet, loving, silly, funny and talented. My sis-in-law Kara gave me Mattea who is silly, sweet, ornery, giving and playful as well as Cecelia who is hilarious, defiant, too grown up and sweet as well as Lydia whom I have yet to meet (she's due to arrive in 2 months)! I am so blessed to have a life surrounded by such amazing children who inspire me every day to be a better person.

So I am officially caught up! Whew! I can't believe it but I could still go on! I guess I won't have any trouble completing this challenge...other than punctuality! :)

Life Took a Chill Pill

My life has taken a chill pill and I am grateful!  A month ago I wasn't sure where life was taking me and I was terrified.  I had never prayed so hard in my life.  I needed answers.  I needed a sign of where to head next.  God answered my prayers.  My hubby came to me out of the blue and said he had been praying and had decided to quit drinking and that the kids and I deserved better.  I had said nothing feeling it would fall on deaf ears as it had so many times before.  He became helpful and took initiative with the kids.  He has apologized numerous times over the last 3 weeks for putting us through what he did.  When I have thanked him for being so helpful he tells me he has a lot to make up for and is just trying to be the husband and day that he should have been all along.  This has been music to my ears and just the infusion I and my marriage needed to bring us back to life.  I had given up hope.  I felt like we were roommates.  We engaged in meaningless chatter at the end of each day and that was it.  We weren't on the same team.  Now I feel like we're pretty close to being "us" again.  It's wonderful and I am so relieved.  I was dreading a future living with a person I didn't like and hardly spoke to but was even more terrified of the alternative.  Thank you, God for answering my prayers and bringing my husband back to me! 

I've had my nephew for the last 2 1/2 weeks and it has been wonderful getting to spend so much time with him.  He's full of energy and tries to break his head every 5 minutes but we are having a blast!  I can already tell a difference in him.  When he got here, he didn't listen AT ALL and now he listens about half the time.  I'll take it.  He's also absolutely precious with my kiddos.  Especially Lilly.  It's like he knows she's smaller and everything she's  been through.  He's so gentle and loving with her.  And she eats it up.  She tries to tickle him and kisses him.  I'm still working on he and Daegan with the concept of sharing... :\

I'm really looking forward to the Christmas season this year.  I think the kids are great ages and I'm feeling much more Christmassy this year now that Lilly's surgeries are behind us.  We went to a Christmas show the other night and the kids had a blast.  Even Lilly!  She was pointing at everything and trying to sing along to some of the songs.  Maddy got to go on stage and sit there while they sang a song and Daegan was dancing and clapping the whole time.  I'm about ready to put our tree and the lights up.  I'm definitely ready to do some holiday baking!  Bring on those holiday pounds!  :)