Finding the Cra(funny)zy

When I'm not allowing my kids to make me feel completely crazy, they are hilarious!  They repeat everything and half the time don't repeat correctly which makes it even funnier.  Then there are the times when Maddy starts walking outside the trampoline and to get my attention says, "Oh crap!".  I set a marvelous example!  I especially like when Maddy tries to mommy Daegan and Lilly.  It's funny and irritating at the same time.  It's usually most irritating when Daegan is doing something he's not supposed to and Maddy tries to correct him or dole out some form of punishment.  Anyway, today I was doing a workout video while Lilly took a nap and Maddy and Daegan decided to join me.  It was hilarious watching them try to do jumping jacks, butt kicks, push ups and going to get water bottles to use for weights to do shoulder presses.  I had a hard time concentrating.  Especially when I was doing crunches and Daegan came running and tried to jump on me!!!  I only had to stop a couple times during the half hour workout which disappointed me, but at least I finished.  And, it was a Jillian Michaels video and she always kicks my butt.  I just need to keep it up along with my diet and I hope to be my old self again soon.  Time will tell I suppose.  I just need to hold myself accountable, keep my inner motivation stoked and if I have a setback, look at it as just that and not give up completely.  I'm down 5 lbs from where I was this time last week so instead of looking at my overall goal, I need to focus on the fact that 5 lbs in a single week is actually pretty stellar!  If I keep it up at that pace, I could be where I want to be by Lilly's 1st birthday, no problem!  Worst case, I will at least look and feel better than I do right now and definitely better than a week ago when I weighed in at my all time non-prego heaviest!!!

Putting the SPRING Back in my Step

     Some days I just want to scream!  I do so well mentally, emotionally, watch what I eat and exercise...then I have a cranky day or the kids get a little too wild and I'm back in the pit I started in.  I know so much of it is mind over matter but I just can't seem to get control over it.  I desperately want to but I guess something inside is holding me back.  I love food, but I don't live for it.  I've done without and lost the weight before.  I wish I could just take a step outside of myself and figure out what it is.  I know I get a little overwhelmed when I think about my ultimate weight loss goal, but I also need to think about the smaller, more achievable and immediate goals.  Right now I feel like being a recluse.  I don't even want to go to church on Sundays - it's bad.  At least my kids hold me accountable to getting up in the morning and feeding them so they aren't neglected.  I even manage to play with them a bit every day.  I'm ready to climb out of this black hole!  I am thankful for my friends and family who always support me no matter what I'm going through or what I look like.  If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be able to see the sun shining above me waiting for me to emerge.