Weighty Issues

Another pound down today has me excited!  I've now lost just over 6 pounds since my Saturday morning weigh in.  And yes, I know it's best to only weigh once a week, but I can't seem to help it.  I've always been horrible about it.  I guess I just need a reason to start the morning by beating myself up.  At least each morning this week has brought good news.  I still struggle with looking at the weight loss in increments as opposed to the big picture.  At first, I'm excited I'm down 6 pounds.  Then, I think, I still have 45-55 I want to lose.  At that point, I'm a little disheartened.  But if I keep losing at this rate, I will be at my goal weight in less than 2 months which would be fabulous!  Another 15 pounds and I will be rewarding myself with a super cute Mizzou shirt I found at Walmart for $13.  I wanted to buy it the other day, but it's not a neccessity and then I realized it would be something nice to visualize for a weight loss milestone.  An additional motivator as if not being fat isn't motivation enough.  I'll be so excited when I can look in the mirror or at a picture of myself (recently taken) and not be disgusted.  I know they're harsh words, but seriously!  I was already overweight going into my last pregnancy and really let myself go.  I gained more weight this last pregnancy that any of my others.  Hopefully that means once I've accomplished my goals, I can look at how far I will have come and never put myself in such a position again.  I feel like I'm at the bottom of Mount Everest looking up. 

Hopefully a better self image will also lessen my feelings of depression.  Some days I would like nothing more than to lay in bed in and out of sleep all day.  It's a good thing I have 2 older kids who make me get out of bed.  If it were just Lilly and I, I really would stay in bed all day sometimes.  I guess we'll find out.  At least I'm not as irritable anymore as I was while pregnant and only on half the dosage of my anti-depressant I'm on now.  Sad is better than sad AND irritable.

Well, now that I've brought down anyone reading this to where I am, I think I'll end on that note.  Things ARE getting better...a day at a time.  Funny, I think that's an alcoholic's mantra...a day at a time.  I guess I was addicted to food - more specifically carbs and sugars.  No more!  I have the power!