Monday, January 10, 2011

Fast and Furious

Well, we made it through the holidays.  I got to see my sister and nephew one last time before they returned to the frozen tundra she calls Iowa and it was so hard to say goodbye.  It was so nice getting to see them every weekend.  I got to watch my nephew grow up for 3 months and I loved it.  I am glad for their family they got to go home to Iowa.  I know her hubby missed her and my nephew-man a lot.  I just wish it were easier for me to get up there to see them more often.  It's so hard not knowing when I will see them again.  When we were younger, I never would have believed my sister and I would be so close as adults.  Mom was right again...she always told us we would be best friends when we grew up.

Christmas was exciting.  We all passed around the stomach flu!  D-man got it first, then Maddy, then Hubby, then we had a healthy Christmas day, then I, my brother, my cousins, my grandparents and aunt and uncle all ended up with it.  Not fun.  It did help me lose 5 pounds though!  I got so excited over the weight loss, I figured I would keep it up and start on the Atkins diet with my mom.  She has officially lost 30 pounds in a month and a half.  I'm a believer.  I've lost 6 pounds since I started a week ago.  I REALLY started 2 days ago.  Up until then, I cheated a little each day.  So I guess I've lost 4 pounds since I started.  Which, 4 pounds in 2 days is awesome.  I need it.  It's just hard looking at the big picture knowing I still want to lose another 55 pounds.  At the very least, another 45 but 55 would be ideal.  I still can't believe I let myself go like this.  I really let depression win.  And now, I'm depressed because I'm fat.  Nice how that works.  Too bad I don't feel a compulsion to clean or exercise when I'm depressed. 

We rang in another new year and I've decided this will be a year of new beginnings for me.  I'm on a diet I said I would never go on so I can look as fabulous as I want to and know I can.  I've renewed my faith in Christ in the last year and it was so nice coming in to a new year with that faith.  I am LOVING my current "job" as a stay-at-home mom.  So, first year I've started off LOVING my  job.  This year will be fabulous!

We spent my birthday in STL for Lilly's doctor appointments.  I was debating until the day before whether I wanted to spend my birthday with our whole family together or leaving the two bigger kids and having a peaceful trip.  I opted to have the family together and ended up kind of wishing we had left them.  We do our Dr. appts right in the middle of the day so we can go up and back on the same day and it's hard on the kids.  At least they usually sleep most of the way home.  Another year older and again, I don't feel any different.  I wonder if you ever start feeling different ON your birthday.  For me, it's my experiences that make me grow older, wiser, more mature; not birthdays.

I LOVE my church!  Yesterday we had a PG-13 service and talked about....shhhhh (sex)!  It waas a great service.  We laughed and came away feeling like we had more tools to strengthen our marriage.  After service we went to a class and became official members of the church.  It feels nice to officially belong!  We started serving in the preschool rooms last month and it feels wonderful to be able to help out.  Then last night there was a couples' dinner at church that Hubby and I went to and left all 3 kids with my parents.  It was such a quiet car ride!  It was a fantastic evening!  It was great to sit around with other couples and discuss our relationships and have it all be about communication.  I know that's our biggest opportunity.  I bottle things up, develop resentment and when a disagreement does arise, I try to cut it off with "whatever" or "fine" or holding my hands up or walking away.  I do not deal well with confrontation.  I need to work on that.  Maybe I can become better at that this year too.  I will certainly try.

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